


Gobermouch

by Therabis



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Male Slash, No smut - only hints, Romance, feysand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-23 20:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10727058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Therabis/pseuds/Therabis
Summary: Feyre goes to see the Suriel.





	Gobermouch

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to practice with dialogue more, but this turned out kinda unintentionally crack-like - at least that's how it reads to me. This was originally meant to go into Nāzanin, but it's sogoddamnlong that it gets it's own posting. ;p
> 
> (Rhys POV): Post-ACOWAR  
> Hints of M/M <3 Nom.

* * *

“We going to do this all day? I mean, I can really,” My timber tone carried a playful air that left Feyre shuddering with duel delight and annoyance. I knew how to work her in all the right spots, and used it to my constant advantage. “You’re adorable enough to stare at, those freckles help - I think I’ve deduced the constellations on all of them.”

“I highly doubt that. Your eyes are all squinty.” Feyre rebutted softly. “Also, say yes.”

“Why?”

“Uhm, cause you love me?”

My partial smile became wider. “That I do, but why do I have to say yes to show I love you?”

Feyre hummed. “So you can see your only mate happy, also I’m coming to you directly instead of going behind your back. That should count for something.”

I chuckled light-heartedly and removed my hand from my chin and gripped Feyre’s, brushing my thumb over the back of her palm. We were sitting adjacent to one another in my study, her long legs crossed underneath the desk and occasionally brushed mine. “Why do you want to see it so badly? Shield or no, I’ll be able to tell if you’re lying.” I asked jokingly.

Feyre nodded. “I just wanted to…thank it. And I’ve never lied to you.”

“True, but you have left out a lot of information,” I reminded.

She scowled. “It’s better than no information at all! Also, hypocrite.”

“Touché.” A heavy sigh escaped me. “I’m only concerned. There’s too many variables with their kind. Too many…unknowns.”

Feyre smiled. “It won’t be that dangerous. Plus, I’ll be hunting within Illyrian territory. If I bite off more than I can chew, I’ll winnow right back home.”

I cocked my head to the side observing her for what she was. Capable. Powerful. My huntress and High Lady. My gloriously independent friend. My _mate_. Feyre always had a choice in her own life, and I would only step in when I thought she was going too far into harm’s way. This being one of those times - but even then, it would only be to provide wisdom and support.

I pursed my lips together, I wanted to say no, I really did. Especially because I couldn’t come with her, or the Suriel wouldn’t show. According to her I was jinxed. But the look in her eyes was pleading and she was right. She could have easily gone off and winnowed on her own to see it, but she had come to me in honesty. Most people I knew wouldn’t bother and it warmed my heart that she trusted me so much. Compared to the shallow bond my parents had, our love was something I had thought only existed in legends and was beyond the reach of the stars.

All the more reason I struggled with the duality of keeping her safe and giving her the freedom she needed.

“I don’t like it, Feyre.”

“More like, you don’t like him..er..it” Feyre chided. “It’s really not that scary.”

I laughed again. “I didn’t say that, also only you would think of the Suriel as _not that scary_. You, who have stood your ground against giant Wyrms, Bone Carvers, and Weavers.” After I finished, I relented and looked away in defeat - breaking eye contact and blinking repeatedly trying to get some liquid flowing back through.

Feyre only had to blink once and she was fine. “Don’t be a baby.”

I stared at her and my brows rose in realization. I pointed my finger at her accusingly. “You little cheater! You were using water magic on your eyes.”

Feyre stared at me and promptly burst out laughing. “Of course. I’m shocked you lasted this long. That was what…half an hour? Nice try, my lord.” She bowed her head dramatically at me and I grinned.

“So, is that a yes?” She asked.

“About?”

Feyre deadpanned.

“Hey, don’t give me that look.” I leaned over the desk so I could place my hands on each side of her cheeks. Her face was utterly adorable and I had to struggle against the impulse to kiss her senseless. “I’m not entirely thrilled with this idea. The Suriel is both cunning and bloodthirsty. Plus, he’s too old for you.”

Feyre choked. “Old?” she asked wide-eyed. _“Old?”_ She repeated and got a nod from me for her astute efforts. She snorted and drew away from me, rubbing her cheeks. “Of all the…who’d have thought you of all people would discriminate against age.”

I floundered at her words. It wasn’t that often that she set me in place. “I’m not that old…”

She grinned, mirroring my earlier expression exactly. It endeared me to no end how much I was influencing her in such subtle ways.

“I don’t think that even my great, great, great, great—”

She was also picking up my dramatics, according to Mor at least. “Okay, I get the—“

She held up a hand. “—great, great, great,” She took a breath. “great, great grandparents were even conceived of when you were born.”

I recoiled, face aghast, and she laughed at me.

I sighed, processing my second defeat that afternoon. “Okay. Go see your new best friend.” She snorted. “Just…keep your shields low for me?”

Her expression softened and she nodded.

Feyre got up and I followed her out of my study and into the hallway. She walked into our bedroom and I watched with great interest as she pulled down a pre-prepared pack from atop the dresser and threw it on the bed. She grinned that mischievous, wolfish smile that I was growing to adore each and every time I saw it. I peered my way discreetly into the bag as she was distracted in donning her fighting leathers.

“You don’t have to look so sneaky, Mrs. Nose. Go ahead and poke around.”

I chuffed at the _Mrs_ and dug into the bag - pulling out a long, brand new, and beautifully stitched, cloak. It was a deep amethyst color. It shimmered in the afternoon light like glowing silk. I raised my brow at her.

“Going in style I see?”

She stared at me like I was Cassian. “That’s not for me. It’s for Suri, of course.”

I dropped it as if it had electrocuted me. _Suri?!_ I glanced from the cloak and back to her.

She shrugged and leaned down to finish strapping on her boots. “Don’t you know? The best way to trap them is to lure with clothing. The fancier, the better your chances.”

This time I was the one who stared at her like she was Cassian. “You’re pulling my wing.”

She stood up and walked up to me with a smirk. She shoved the cloak back into her bag, strapped it tight and swung it across her back.

“Poor baby High Lord. Maybe that’s why you failed to catch it twice.”

I stood stock still for a moment and chortled in shame. I brought my hands to my face tiredly. “Oh, Feyre. Go on and get out of here. Be careful and come back to me in one piece.”

She beamed and a thrill went through me at the sight.

She leaned into me and pulled my hands away from my face. I met her lips and kissed her passionately, pouring my love and affection down the bond. My hands threaded in her hair as hers smoothed down by tunic. I knew she could feel my worry for her.

When we parted her eyes were bright and warm. She stayed in my arms for a moment, head resting against my chest. “Can we go flying, when I get back I mean.” Her gaze lingered on the sun that was slowly setting in the distance. “I wont be gone long.” Her eyes returned to mine and she sent a luxurious stroke through my shields, aimed at calming my stress. “Back before the moon rises and dulls the stars.”

I smiled adoringly at her. “Nothing dulls the stars, darling. Except you.”

She rolled her eyes, but tried unsuccessfully to hide her smile. Then she patted my cheek and became smoke and shadow - winnowing away.

*******

I paced in my study for a good long hour after she had left. My attention hyper-attuned on the bond. My reflexes jarring at the slightest sound. Ready to winnow to her if she needed me.

The bond was calm for the most part, except for one or two instances where I felt her adrenaline spike.

I did trust her to be careful. After all, this would have been her fourth time meeting with the Suriel now - if she indeed caught it with that ridiculous cloak.

I still remembered with awe how she had described catching it the third time during the war. My eyes narrowed in wonder. She likely used that line about the cloak to make fun of me. Why would such an ancient and terrifying beast come calling to capture for such a simple, _domestic_ reward. Nonsense.

I felt a mote of fear flow down the bond, followed a split second later by a wave of rippling anger on Feyre’s part. I tensed, but then the mating bond tugged and a couple of seconds later black smoke materialized in the hallway, signaling Feyre’s return. I practically launched myself off the chair I was in, but found my bearings before leaving the doorway.

She was a mess. Leathers dirty and the heady scent of pine and sap lingered on her like a perfume. She even had some of the green needles stuck in her hair. I laughed at the sight.

“Feyre, love..”

She whip-lashed to me and gave me her very fiercest glare.

“Merciful heavens!” I exclaimed, “I think that turned me to stone. What’s the matter?”

Her stormy face showed promise of retribution and I had a blinding panic set in as I flash backed to the moment when she had first discovered we were Mates…after having met the Suriel that time too. So I approached with caution at whatever was brewing behind that beautiful mask of rage.

Feyre only snarled, “What suit are you wearing?”

I looked down at my black garments in surprise. “Does it matter?”

“ _Yes!_ ” growled Feyre. I had visions of a wolf simmering underneath the surface. She stalked up to me and I would admit to no less then standing my ground firm, maybe flinching just a bit. She paused as she inspected the cloth of my tunic critically, fingering it with predatory intent. The dark color of it had been woven intricately to include a fine threading of silver, interlocked with the black. So at certain angles, the darkness gave way to a gleaming shine of rich, starlit-Ebony coloring. I was rather fond of it.

“Please don’t ask questions, but I need your suit.” She met my gaze and I merely raised my brow at her, lips wavering as I tried not to smile. She was fuming, but I honestly couldn’t handle how cute she was being.

“All right.” I acquiesced. I could have my tailor fashion a better one anyway. “Strip right here, darling, or should I get a robe first?”

Feyre was somehow more annoyed than ever. She gave a wordless grump of rage and turned her back on me to go into the bedroom.

“Feyre!” I said in my most laughing, pleading way. I followed her, unbuttoning things as I walked.

She plopped onto the bed. There was no better way to describe it, as she huffed dramatically and rested on her back. I shirked off my coat and tunic and hung them neatly on the door handle before joining her. She glanced at me sideways and I dared to flick her nose.

“So, what did _Suri_ say to make you so upset this time?”

She crinkled her face at me and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped.

“It didn't _say_ anything, it merely took one sniff of the cloak I offered and ripped into it like a savage. I only wanted to thank it...for goodness sake!” She looked up at the ceiling and bared her teeth. “Mother forbid I give it the wrong set of clothes. It was fine with a cloak once before. Picky, snarky little monster of a _cretin_!!”

I could only stare at her in bewilderment after her tirade before she sat up and went to snatch the clothes off the door handle. I had half a mind that she was still messing with me somehow, if not for the very real emotions she kept careening down the bond. She turned back to face me as I sat on the edge of the bed.

“Do you wanna come?” She asked, and my heart skipped a beat. “It’s still in the clearing. Waiting for me to come back with…” she glanced at my bare chest and then shrugged at the clothing in her hand.

I got up immediately. Snapping my fingers and was outfitted in similar leathers and weaponry. I was trying so hard to keep my excitement to a minimum, but she must have noticed for she snorted - anger abating slightly.

“Two rules.” I stood straight in a soldiers salute, and she faltered.“One, do not make mention of the clothing. At all. Two, no questions.” I frowned at that, but she shook her head adamantly at me. “None! It stressed that it would only let you come on that basis. No. Questions.”

I pouted and nodded. She gave me a pinning stare and grabbed my hand. My excitement slowly turned to trepidation as the realization settled in about what I was to face. She winnowed us.

We appeared in a clearing somewhere in a valley in the Steppes. Tall pines surrounded us on all sides.

In the center of the meadow, fingering a ripped up piece of beautifully stitched, purple cloth, was one of the most hideous creatures I had ever laid eyes upon. It was gigantic and skeletal and muscular, the combination of which seemed impossible - yet the result was utterly terrifying. I had seen ancient illustrations and read descriptions of the Suriel race, but that didn’t prepare me for it’s….face. Which looked up, seemingly as I thought this, and gave me a wicked, needle-pointed, black-gummed smile fit for nightmares.

It gave a mocking bow and addressed me as such, “High Lord of Nightmares and Dreams.” It’s voice was like splintered glass, at once one and many, old and young, and I suppressed a shudder. Feyre snorted besides me.

It’s milky eyes flicked to her and I had a mild sense of panic as I thought it meant to attack her. Yet, she left my side and I was helpless as she walked right up to it and offered my clothing. It sniffed at them, before taking them greedily from her arms. I stared, open mouthed at the display. She had been right. _Of course_ Feyre darling had been right.

The Suriel remained hunched over and inspected my tunic with the same critical eye that my mate had, only minutes prior. It gave a satisfied cluck and donned my coat, the tunic laying over it’s spindly arm for later. I could only stare at it with incredulousness. This probably took the cake for the most bizarre sight I had ever beheld, and I had witnessed a game of strip poker with Varian and Amren.

“This will do nicely, I accept your thanks Feyre Cursebreaker. Defeater of Kings and Demons.”

Feyre snorted again and I couldn’t help myself as I walked up closer to them, feeling weak with disbelief. I took her rules to heart and didn’t comment on the clothing.

“I wouldn’t make Feyre snort again. The mood she’s in, she’ll bring down the forest next time.”

She gave me an incredulous glare and I suppressed a smile. The Suriel snuffled about, scratching the ground with it’s clawed feet and took a couple of steps closer to me. I had to repress the urge to back away from it. It stared deeply into my eyes and I felt something ancient, something terrifying and utterly beyond me touch straight through my mental shields - as if they didn’t exist. I had felt this from only one other being: Amren. I swallowed as it stalked close enough to smell, the blood and bone permeating from it smelled old, decayed. My nose twitched.

It grinned that razor toothed smile again and I felt a shiver trail down my spine. It ignored me again and turned back to Feyre.

“I will offer you this single truth, Cursebreaker, in exchange for your altruism.” Feyre leaned towards it eagerly, as did I. It clucked it’s teeth again. “When spring comes to your lands again, give the spirits in the sky a union of magic to replenish what was lost.”

I wondered. _Starfall?_ Feyre and I shared a look of joint confusion.

It rolled it’s shoulders, like a bird ruffling it’s feathers, and bowed to Feyre. And she bowed back, respect written in her pose. She looked quickly to me, so I swallowed my pride and bent low as well. The Suriel gave me an appreciative once over, before, “And for you, Prince of Shadows, I offer this. Bring your mate’s former lover to the Hewn City, and you shall be granted an…amusing show.”

My brow rose in confusion. “What, Tamlin? I can’t just…bring him down there.” I felt Feyre’s discomfort through the bond. Tensions between the Spring Court were still strained, despite the fact that Tamlin had gone against the King’s armies in the end to help us.

The Suriel cackled and I never wanted to hear that sound again. “Oh, no. Not the flower Lord no. Her other, former lover.”

 _Flower Lord??_ I was coming to like this creature, despite it’s horror. My worry eased and I beheld a most beautiful blush of scarlet that danced on Feyre’s face.

“Oh, please Mother. No.” A lewd smile grew as I beheld the racy images that she tried desperately to shield from me. A flash of hay, a naked breast, and some scrawny human touching my mate extremely inappropriately. My smile vanished and this time I was the one to snort, shadows flexing themselves at the non-existent threat.

The Suriel nodded dramatically, sensing Feyre’s horror. “Oh yes, you’re beloved Isaac Hale is mates with that overlord in the Hewn City.”

Sound disappeared - my jaw dropping open in surprise. I felt the bond grow quiet as Feyre digested it too. Oh, _hell_ no.. Wait until the others heard this. Wait until _Mor_ heard this! This Isaac person likely wouldn’t feel anything of the bond, as Feyre hadn’t. Only whisperings. Human consciousness was simply not built to detect them well - short as their lifespans were. It was a tragic fact for certain couples throughout history who would never meet. But Kier, oh Lord he would feel it. And detest it. 

I glanced back to thank the Suriel, but it had vanished - seemingly in mid air. A sudden breeze billowing across the meadow grasses was the only sign of it’s exit.

Feyre and I stood across from one another. We had a shared look of disbelief written on our faces and I had to laugh. Feyre shook her head, as if to clear it. Then her brow furrowed in confusion.

“It cannot lie…but, biologically, that doesn’t make sense. Not that I mind such unions, but-” I sensed her question before she had even formulated the words and I had to grin. “You told me that the mating bond, it’s intensity, is meant in part to harken back when Fae were beasts. To improve pregnancy rates or some nonsense like that.” I nodded at her, still reeling from the encounter. “So, why would a mate bond exist between two males then?”

I exhaled heavily, trying to clear my own head. “Well, that aspect is only a theorized part of the bond.” I closed the gap between us and gripped her hand, gathering my magic to winnow us back home. “There are actually quite a number of documented male-centric bonds, as well as female, recorded throughout our history. It seems the bond takes into more consideration the equality aspect of two individuals. How matched they are for each other. How balanced.”

I gazed into her eyes fondly, stroking our bond, and she smiled - warmth seeping into me from her love. But then her brow furrowed and she looked almost worried. “But….Isaac isn’t anything like Kier.” She fumbled. “He’s not evil. He’s kind and generous…and maybe a bit daft and stupid.” I chuckled and she gripped me tight as I winnowed us, the forest clearing replaced by a void, until our bedroom materialized. “Maybe…a bit stubborn, and ignorant, simple-minded,…did I already say daft?” She rambled, heading for the bathing room and starting up a tub of hot water with her magic. “Plus he’s _married_ , for Cauldron’s sake.”  
  
She sat down on the edge of the tub, waiting for it to fill and contemplating deeply. I sat down cross legged on the floor, and right between her legs, balancing my chin on her knee. She was being adorable again.

“Does that mean you don’t wish to bring him?”

She glanced down at me, then my smile widened as she blushed darkly again and looked away. “Umm, no…no. As much as I would love to see Kier’s world shaken at the revelation, for Mor to see that, I think that would be rather cruel to do to Isaac.”

I rumbled my approval at her. “I would still like to meet this human though.” She whipped to me and glared, my grin growing with delight.

“Absolutely not!” I quirked an eyebrow at her and she flushed again. “He’s got no mental shields…you would.” My grin turned feral and she gulped, swinging her head. “Oh, bother…what do I care.” Her eyes softened and I lifted my head off her knee at the shift in her tone.” It was a time when I was hungry and empty…and he kept me sane. In a way.”

“Feyre…”

She looked back at me and I smiled gently, caressing her hand in mine.

My mate seemed to shake these thoughts off as she contemplated me. We kept a comfortable silence for a moment, the only sound the rushing of water in the tub. I left her to her own musings, content to simply bask in her presence.

“Have…have you ever...” She was struggling with some internal battle, but her shields were iron and I couldn’t see. And then she floored me. “Have you ever been with another…male?”

I blinked slowly at her. Feyre’s face was a mask of pure innocence, as if she had asked about the weather. Of all the things I was expecting her to say, that was _not_ it.

Her question brought forth a rather old memory though, and this time it was my turn to blush. Rather spectacularly, according to Feyre’s thoughts. She grinned devilishly at me, like a cat with a mouse.

“So...” She chose her next words carefully. “would you ever…wanna do it again?”

I let out a startled laugh. I couldn’t help it. I was rather impressed honestly that my mate’s kinks could keep up with mine, young as she was.

“Only if you were watching, darling.” We stared at each other for a delicious amount of time before she finally broke my gaze, breathing deeply. She unabashedly magicked her clothes away and I was granted a mouthwatering, full body view before she stepped into the steaming tub and submerged underwater. When she broke the surface, I had moved to cross my arms on the rim of the tub, chin resting there as I gazed down at her. She gave me a demure look, mouth blowing bubbles before leaning further up. I was too busy staring at her dripping chest before her next words registered. “You would be on bottom.”

I blinked rapidly, digesting. “Pardon me?”

“You heard me.”

Her smile could kill hearts.

I inhaled for a long time. Eventually, I magicking my clothes off in a similar fashion and joined her in the tub, laying opposite from her. She maneuvered my legs so they were on either side of her, using them as armrests. Her feet skimmed dangerously close to secret places. I grabbed a sneaking foot and we continued to stare. I almost laughed as our contest from earlier in the evening began anew.

"No cheating this time." I ran my thumb over the pad of her toes and she flinched her leg back. "I know you're ticklish and will show no mercy if you do."

Her challenging grin was answer enough.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feyre fantasizing about Rhys with other men is a fetish I can get on board with. Also, these fics keep getting longer and longer. The scenes just get away from me and then I don’t know how to end them. I hope they flow OK. I finished this one at 2am though and I can’t even..
> 
> P.S. The Suriel’s “Starfall” thing will be explained in a future posting. <3  
> P.P.S. Suriel grin = Mouth of Sauron.  
> P.P.P.S. Rhys was with Cassian. They were young and alone one summer in the Cabin. Both took turns on top and both look back on the time fondly. No one else in their circle knows.


End file.
